back to the drawing board

well oh dear.
where to begin?
and to be honest--who cares?
i dont know, maybe this is just a dear god--he's texting me. apparently, some things you cant friggen get rid of.
but to the rest of the world, hello. hello. hello.
oh yes, ok so maybe i'm just doing this because it's any excuse to procrastinate. i should really get rid of that little set back; procrastination.
nasty habit, really.
hmm so i like pink floyd. their music's pretty hip, i'd say.
i need to go to cabela's and check out their longbows. dick's only has compound bows which i CAN'T STAND. no offense, of course, if you like them. we all have our preferences. i considered getting another recurve but i believe a long bow will be my weapon of choice.
I havent finished one thing for honors art yet this summer.
which means i still have 5 large projects and 20 sketches to do, good luck to me.
and i still have to read jane eyre.
technically, i finished an oil during the school year which i am planning on using, so four more projects to go, and i have started three sketches, although none are finished. so i guess you can add those up to about one and a half completed sketches. holy hell i'm on a roll.
i also meant to finish typing up my chapters this week.
guess what?
it didnt happen.
and you aren't even surprised. good, you are catching on.
it seems as though i could probably complain, at least mentally, about anything ever no matter how favorable it is.
for instance, i complain i don't get enough hours where i work yet when i work i complain how i dont want to be there and could be doing better things with my life.
which is, apparently, nothing.
i have also accomplished spinning around in mindless circles about what i want to do with my life.
this is what i have laid out so far (with much thought, mind you)
1) Go to college
2) Get a degree in something (although everything i want to do in life it doesnt seem like you need a degree for and nothing i want to do seems "acceptable enough" meaning it
wont bring in the loot, but honestly if i'm happy im happy. My new thought is
something with movies, theyre amazing and i love every aspect)
3)If i don't find something i like, there's always the military. i kind of miss that lifestyle. I would
have preferred navy but i believe theyre the only branch which makes girls chop of
their hair for boot camp so i'm thinking army or marines. sorry, USA, but i value my
hair a little bit too much i suppose. nothing wrong with that.
4) I'm still secretly hoping I can live off my writing (ya, go ahead and laugh) or maybe I'll
become a famous action hero. they can make little figurines out of me--how quaint
now I'm just rambling ish.
blair, go do something productful....

song...."sandbox"

everybody's fighting
everybody's fighting on all land
and nobody's realizing
nobody's realizing what all this fighting's done
to man
and history's repeating
created by the beating of our human hearts
why restart?
when we can bury our mistakes in a sandbox
and walk away
we can take out our shovels, dig a wishing well to wish it
all away
the world is just a playground
adults become the children
when the children are the ones who make any sense at all
so please can we screw up?
so we can go back, oh it'll be fun, lets go
why not?
when we can bury our mistakes in a sandbox
and walk away
we can take out our shovels, dig a wishing well to wish it
all away
the world is just a playground
please no more fighting
no more war and no more dying
why arent we trying harder?
so please can we go to the sandbox
and dig up
the mistakes we have buried
and the things that we should have
that we should have not

oh, why hello july, way to sneak up on me...

Well

Well I have not posted anything in about a month--give or take, so here I am. Posting something. I feel....blah. Surprised? No. So sick of revising. But it must be done so here we go...

Uhmmm so

so I was going to put something half way decent down. But I'm tired. Plus I just feel like garbage today. Amazing. Such is life. I'm over it. haaaa....

Wanderer

I was born and live and will die a wanderer.
Through space and time I will find no foothold.
My insides will always feel unsettled,
and this hand I've been dealt of discontent will never fold.
It doesn't matter who I find or where I go.
This feeling's roots go too deep, they're too old.
The only thing I've got is hope,
though it's locked far better than Pandora's box.
Is there at all, a key to this lock?

One Day

One day... it will all make sense
One day... all the pieces of our lives will come together
One day... we will find a purpose
One day... we will feel complete
One day...
--Is not this day.